The Myth of Normal 142

“But I wouldn’t be happy staying home with them. It isn’t that I like my job better—if I had to pick, the kids would win every time. But the ‘marginal value’ of time with them declines fast . . . The first hour with my kids is great, but by the fourth, I’m ready for some time with my research. My job doesn’t have this nose-dive in marginal value—the highs are not as high, but the hour-to-hour satisfaction declines much more slowly.”[21] Oster is wise to value the quality of the hours she spends parenting over their mere number, and has every right to claim her choice, as we all do. For far too long women’s self-expression and validation through the fulfillment of meaningful work apart from homemaking were squelched and frustrated. And of course, neither the opportunity to return to meaningful employment nor the pressure to resume working, no matter what the cost to parenting, is equally distributed among women: class, as always, is a hugely significant variable. Many parents are compelled to enter the workforce from dire economic necessity, or to rejoin it far too prematurely. How can they think of their children’s future when they can barely provide for the present? This is particularly the case in the United States, where fewer than 20 percent of new mothers have access to paid leave. The problem is even worse for families of color, Myra Jones-Taylor, chief policy officer at the child development nonprofit Zero to Three, told the Guardian. “Parents,” she said, “just can’t afford to stay home with their babies.”[22] There are much more civilized policies in place in some countries, particularly in northern Europe, where even fathers are offered paternity leave. One in four American women returns to work within two weeks of giving birth, a mere third of the length of postpartum maternal leave suggested by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. Even that paltry recommendation by the ACOG seems intended only to allow the maternal body to heal and recover from the travails of labor—given especially how many births these days involve surgical intervention. Such a brief postpartum absence from work leaves the needs of the child entirely out of consideration. For healthy child development, according to the child’s neurobiological requirements, a much longer period with the mother is necessary—ideally for a minimum of nine months until the infant reaches a stage of relative